Fridays Jokes

Fancy something that gives you a giggle?
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If I Was A Bird
2nd Dan
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Re: Fridays Jokes

Postby If I Was A Bird » Fri Oct 31 2014, 00:49

Bypass Surgery

A few weeks after bypass surgery, a patient says to his doctor, "Can I start having sex?"
The doctor replies, "Yes, but only with your wife. Your heart is not yet ready for any excitement!!!"
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart" - annon heli pilot....
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If I Was A Bird
2nd Dan
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Joined: Nov 2007

Re: Fridays Jokes

Postby If I Was A Bird » Fri Oct 31 2014, 00:52

JEWISH SUNBATHING

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach at. She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.

"How are you today?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book.

"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" She asked.

Yes, I live over in Del Ray", he answered, and again he resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?"

With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life.

When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart" - annon heli pilot....
PaulSmith
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Re: Fridays Jokes

Postby PaulSmith » Fri Dec 2 2016, 09:16

Hello! Hilarious! Many thanks for sharing! The next topic of the day is to consider this test overview and find out the most common reasons for colonoscopy ( a screening exam for colorectal cancer) :Image 
Velvetweasel
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Re: Fridays Jokes

Postby Velvetweasel » Sat Dec 3 2016, 02:47

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel around his penis. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer, the bartender says " you know, you have a ship's wheel around your penis?!?" and the pirate says "Yarr, it drives me nuts!!"
Dont buy Leather shorts online.
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bladepitch
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Re: Fridays Jokes

Postby bladepitch » Sun Dec 4 2016, 20:36

short 2 minute standup by Jimmy Carr... very funny!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-7PeL7_xWc

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